MESSING WITH STRESS

People on Facebook have been posting up graduation pictures left and right, and it makes me anxious for my own graduation. I have about a year or so left until I can officially be classified as an unemployed bum, but what bothers me isn't the remaining time, but rather, a) the uselessness of the subjects I have left and b)how fast time is passing (which is for another entry altogether).

Said uselessness, of course, is relative. If I were to become the Multimedia Artist I'm studying to be, all would be fine and dandy, and I would be just like all my other classmates (read: motivated). The thing is, when I graduate, I don't want to become employed by some firm and start from the bottom of the career ladder, and go through all the dirty politics to be a creative director. That's not the Ultimate Goal. (I made it sound extremely unglamorous but that's just a part of me consoling myself that experience doesn't always have to teach you personally for you to get the lesson. And I just rambled there but I hope I got that point across haha) 

So if I don't want to be employed, what do I want to be when I graduate? *drum roll* An employer! *cue the silent audience, upon realization that this person is too idealistic for her own good* 

Haha no but really, I want to start up a business and run it with my sisters. I get to work on my own time, be the boss of myself, experience what it's truly like to care about your job and love it and hate the undue stress but still work your butt off because it's what you want to do. Running a business is so different from being employed somewhere because you genuinely care about where your brand is going. You're emotionally (and financially) invested and there is really a direct correspondence between the effort you put in and the gains that come your way. The more work you sow, the more rewards you reap. If you don't work a whole week, you get nothing. Unless of course, you're a big, established brand and all you do is sit on your laurels and watch your money pour in while you pick at your split ends and watch re-runs of Sex and the City all day long. That's the Ultimate Goal, by the way, in case you're wondering. (retire early and live a comfortable life haha)

Putting it side by side with being employed at a 9 to 5 job, where you work so hard (or so little), only to get a fixed salary a month, and to slowly climb the corporate ladder to have a nice, big, office with an amazing view of the city. And by the time you sit your exhausted butt on that expensive, leather chair behind that glass and mahogany desk, how old will you be? 45 years old? Suddenly, your whole life passed you by. And all your work benefited the smart guy who started that company. (which could possibly be me. Ha! Ha! I kid.)

Funny thing is, I used to picture myself living exactly like that: Getting up in the morning, going to the gym, grab a bite and some coffee, drive myself to work, finish meetings by lunch, go out for lunch with officemates, do more work, and go home to my oh-so-swanky and lavish apartment/penthouse/loft and fix myself a nice dinner. (oh god, just writing that made me jealous of that life) but then I realized, that life can't exist on the basic salary of a fresh grad. My attention span is far too short for a desk job, and the thought of doing that same thing every single day for many years frightens me. (oh, the mundane! oh, the routine!) 

So what am I doing studying art if I want to be in business? Simple. When I start my own business, I automatically become the creative director. Win win situation. :D (All the technical, accounting stuff will go to my two very technical sisters)

Everything considered, with my relentless need to always question the whys of things, school has been frustrating, to say the least. Because the subjects I'm taking up right now serve no purpose to the Ultimate Goal, and I feel like I'm wasting precious time and money. Don't get me wrong, I love my course, but there are some subjects I just want to skip and call it over and done with. :D Is there no way to not take up some teensy weensy subjects and still graduate (with honors)? 

Oh, what's that? I'm getting a signal. Apparently, it's NOT possible to graduate unless you finish all your subjects. And take all the recollections. (which reminds me, I have yet to take Reco 2, ugh) And all the religion subjects. And NSTP. (I am so, so, so very over you, NSTP. And we are never, ever ever, getting back together). 

Oh, life. I wish you didn't play so hard to get. If only you were easy, and if only we could take things slow. (in relation to my being so alarmed at the speed of life) Gah. Time to sleep! It's homework day tomorrow. Ew.

BLOG, RESURRECTED

Greetings, from the limbo that is blogging. I was floatimg listlessly for some time there for being such a terrible blogger... with no readers. *roars with laughter* Anyway, why the sudden entry? I was browsing my Drafts on this blog (I have many unpublished entries) and I was actually shocked because there were things on there that I completely forgot ever even happened. One of which was that entry on smoking which I published a half hour ago.

I'm always on Tumblr but I complain constantly about how I feel like there isn't any "privacy". Obviously, such privacy is an illusion because the whole darn internet is public. Even this blog. But still, in my heart of hearts, Blogspot is still home and Tumblr has become more of an online portfolio of my homework. 

But I digress. (I told you I'm a terrible blogger!)

Anyway, this whole thing brings me back to the whole point of blogging (my personal intention, anyway), which is to keep checkpoints and document my thoughts. Like a public diary, yes. I wonder what kind of reaction someone would get if they could travel to the 1950s and whisper in a little girl's ear that one day, people would publicly document their diaries for the whole world to see. 

So on to the main point of this entry.... (after 3 paragraphs, here is the point, haha!) I'll start using this blog more often! Expect to see more entries because I've been having a lot of feelings lately. I'm just a whirlwind of emotions and I suspect I may be undergoing a quarter-life crisis. Gasp. 

I will also give a shout-out to my homegirl (LOL) Tin of http://remarkablyweirdsyndrome.blogspot.com for inspiring me to get back up and get this thing going. You unknowingly did so, and so you did. (I am obviously sabaw as it is 3am already)

... oh my god, how do you end an entry?! I've forgotten how. Oh well. I shall end this abruptly right here. Okay. Bye.

ON SMOKING

A few days ago, a friend of mine was showing me his Zippo lighter and was bragging about all the tricks he could do with it, and how he could do smoke rings more than anyone else could. A few hours later, I found myself seated beside a classmate of mine who was all giddy with happiness, because she apparently bagged a good deal on a pack of smokes. She showed me the pack of cigarettes, and she was beaming with excitement because they were strawberry flavored. She was literally like a kid on Christmas Eve, excitedly shoving the pack of cancer sticks up my nose, requesting -more like forcing- me to smell it.

... and it put me off. Not because they smoke, but because of how proud they were of it.  Beaming with it, even.

I don't really mind if someone smokes or not; Just please don't dangle it in front of my face or exhale a puff in my direction intentionally. It's a little disconcerting, for someone to offer me a cigarette and even when I politely decline, they still have the cojones to ask me if I want to try one, anyway. To their defense, some will say that they're just trying to be respectful, that maybe, just maybe, I might be dying to try one. A little advice? Show a little respect by respecting my answer. Which is, and forever will be, a no. Truth be told, asking me if I want to try a cigarette even when I already said not only reflects how the person is trying to be a bad influence (Yes, smoking IS bad, no matter how you look at it) but it also reflects how little respect they have for others. I respect that you want to smoke, please respect my not wanting to.

Again, I don't hate smokers. When I see one, I don't throw a fit or go off on how cigarettes are bad for their health, etc. etc. Respect is key, and that applies to both the smoker and the non-smoker. Keep the personal space, don't blow that smoke ring in my face, don't brag to me about how "cool" it is that you have a Zippo or strawberry flavored cigs, don't offer me one even when I've already refused. Please lang, a little respect.

Perhaps it's because my mother's a smoker.. or maybe I don't like cigarettes because it's what took my grandfather's life.. all I know is, smoking is the one thing where 'never say never' doesn't apply to me. I often joke that I should tell my future kids "I used to smoke when I was younger", just so they won't try it themselves HAHA. (my attempt at ending this rant on a positive note)