On 2010

Another year has come and gone and I can only muster up a "what the heck" when I think of how extremely fast time has gone by in the last 12 months. Contemplating 2010 is mind boggling, true - because with the year came many ups and downs. I've had to come to terms with many things, and came to different crossroads that led to different paths. The past year changed me, and I'd like to think it was for the better. :) 


2010 was a year of relationships. Before any assumptions are made, I'd like to make it clear that I don't mean relationships in the romantic kind. My 6-month sabbatical from school brought me so much closer to my mom. We were never archenemies or constantly at each other throats or anything, it was never like that at all. It's just that last year forged a deeper, closer bond with her than I could ever imagine. I mean, I look forward to coming home and dread non-half days because I'm always itching to come home. I know it sounds so lame and so "uncool" but.. I've become extremely family oriented, more than I was before (now THAT'S saying something). Also, I've made plenty of new friends in Benilde and they're the main reasons why school is enjoyable (no art related subjects yet, so classes are a bore).

2010 was a year for myself. As selfish as it sounds, last year was a year for searching for who I was, what I wanted to do, who I aspired to be. I had to do a lot of self-reflecting and discerning regarding my dreams and ambitions.. and I am much more focused on what I want, more than ever. The 6 months away from school, by default, allowed me to do things for myself that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to accomplish if it weren't for the free time. I was always doing something - planning business plans (oh, redundancy!), painting my room, remodeling my room, building my graphic design portfolio, thinking, thinking and more thinking. (I wish I could 'working out' to this, but no, that'd be me lying haha)

Lastly, 2010 was a year of change. I transferred schools again (I probably hold the record of most colleges attended in my batch, haha!) and shifted from an Advertising & Communications major to Multimedia Arts... and have never been more content. I am beyond happy with where I am now and can't imagine myself anywhere else. Also, I don't even know where to begin describing how different I am now, in comparison to my high school self. Many aspects of me are still the same - my being happy-go-lucky, laid-back, talkative (too talkative, to be honest), etc etc, but my priorities have changed. No longer do I say Yes to every uto uto moment opportunity to be part of some committee, because I feel that I should only say Yes if it'll help me grow as a person, student or artist. Selfish? Maybe. Effective in significantly reducing the undue stress in my life? Definitely. I've come to realize that there are more important things in life than a qualification in a resume', and I'm glad I realized it this early on. :) 

Sometimes, I think about how much time and money I've wasted transferring schools and whatnot, and bang my head on the wall even more when I think about how in fourth year, I passed the entrance test for the school and course I'm in now. But then I get to thinking, that maybe it was all meant to be, that it was all part of the plan. Maybe I was meant to get mugged that day in Taft, so that I'd become more wary and less trusting of the people around me. Maybe I was meant to go to AC, to realize that I can't judge a book by its cover, and that there's so much more than what meets the eye (hello, cliches!). Maybe I was meant to be unhappy with the point of my Advertising class, to realize that not everything in the world is about money-making and manipulation. (Although Advertising can still be inspirational, when used properly) Maybe I was meant to miss the entrance test for the first term, so that my 90 days of summer would be spent becoming even closer to my family, and reassessing my dreams and priorities. 


2009 wasn't a good year, and yet, 2010 was. Life sure has a funny way of turning out the way it does, don't you think? :) 2011, I have high hopes and expectations from you.. and all I can say is, World, please don't end in 2012! XD

reinvent

I've deleted/made private some of my previous entries that were too angsty or gave so much of my feelings away. I'm learning, little by little, not to pour too much of my heart on the world wide web. Also, I'm having difficulty trying to differentiate what to post here on or on my Tumblr. As shallow as it sounds, I prefer posting on my Tumblr more because the layout looks better.. but then I'd have to burden my followers with a lengthy text post which they did not sign up for when they followed me in the first place.. but then again, why should I have to bend over backwards to suit other people's wants and needs? (I'm telling you, I have a very complex mind, haha!) 

After some thought, I've decided to keep my Tumblelog free from any opinions and only lighthearted, photoblogs. This Blogspot is for my inner thoughts, and I'll really try to keep any negative emotion out (that's what my Livejournal blog is for, haha). 


Here's to a new vibe of this blog! :)

F(r)iction

A month, a year, a decade. Does it matter? It's quiet now; I can almost hear the faint droplets of the water from the kitchen sink, and the rustle of the sheets from when you used to be mine. I can almost make out the click clacking of your spoon and fork as we eat, and the clatter the plate makes when you drop it, because you are endearingly clumsy.

... Sometimes, when I'm alone at night, at the moment before my mind drifts off into the land of make believe, I can almost hear you tell me you'll see me in your dreams.

One day, Two days, one week, one month, one year.
The days roll by slowly but it feels like I've been living a lifetime.

Morning comes, and I'm greeted with the faint smell of coffee being ground by the cappuccino machine, and the rustle of the newspaper's pages turning. As you turn up the volume on the radio when Put Your Head On My Shoulder comes on, I complain and tell you to keep it down; I'm not yet finished dreaming, I'm not ready to wake up and face the long day ahead ... You know sometimes I think that maybe, just maybe, I haven't quite woken up yet.

Old School Music

The reason why I love McFly's 'It's All About You' (see last spazz entry) is because it's reminiscent of the kind of music my dad used to play on our vintage looking jukebox, years ago. It was the music I grew up listening to; I was used to the doowop shidoobidoowop beats and harmonizing vocals of 4 strapping young men with mop top haircuts. It's really been a while since I last listened to anything other than Super Junior, which is good or bad depending on how you look at it. So after hearing It's All About You play in the background of one Korean variety show I was watching, a light went on in my head and I quickly opened Google and searched. And it was there, right there, the song I had been looking for for two years. I didn't remember the words (which is kind of stupid, because it repeats over and over again) so I didn't know where to start looking before. 

The song reminded me why I love old school music so much. Music from the fifties and sixties speak of a time when love was pure and free, when boys would send telegrams to the girls and would serenade them at school dances. It was a time of ice cream dates and amusement parks, not clubs and bars and alcohol. Bicycle rides and balloon skirts and bow ties.It was like love was just love, and sex wasn't a means to an end.


  I embedded a few of my favorite oldies songs, for your listening pleasure. 

 Gary Lewis and the Playboys - Save Your Heart for Me

This song, from the whistling in the beginning to the end, just speaks about love in its purest, most unadulterated form. The mood is just so much about teenage first love, and how Boy & Girl have to be away from each other for the summer. Best lines of the song:

When the summer moon is on the riseAnd you're dancing under starlit skiesPlease don't let the stars get in your eyesJust save your heart for meWhen you're all alone, far away from homeSomeone's gonna flirt with youI won't think it's wrong if you play alongJust don't fall for someone new

The Beach Boys - Little Surfer Girl

This beat of this song is just so... kilig, for lack of a better word. The harmonizing vocals of the Beach Boys gives off a longing tone, and it's as if he's begging her to be his Little Surfer Girl. Cheeseballs, I know, but it's nice. :) Favorite lines:

So I say from me to you

I will make your dreams come true

Do you love me? 

Do you Surfer Girl?

  The Beatles - This Boy
Even back in the day, a jealous guy would express his envy of another dude hanging out with the girl he likes by singing a ballad, instead of beating him up in a bar. Kidding aside, the song is just really sweet and omg, just listen to it already. HAHA! Favorite lines:

Oh and this boy, would be happyJust to love youBut oh my ahhhhhhhThat boy, won't be happyTill he's seen you cry

... See what I mean? Doesn't listening to those songs make you want to step into a Time Machine and rewind back to the days when things were simpler? Sometimes, I really feel like I was born in the wrong decade. I should've been born in the fifties.

It's All About You

 

This song is so amazing, I feel so inspired right now I want to draw and write and make music and paint and dance around my house but I can't because there's still things that have to be done. Years ago, I heard this song play and I searched for it high and low but I couldn't find it. Then today... Today I found it and oh God. I am so incoherent right now. 

Will edit later, when I'm done doing the elliptical :/

Summer till September

I have the most unorthodox college life. 

When I was in 3rd year high school, all my friends took up review classes in the summer before senior year. They enrolled in Ahead, in our High School and different tutorial places, so that they'd be more confident in taking the tests for the University/College of their choice. I took the road less traveled, and I didn't take review classes. A lot of my older friends kept telling me that they were useless, that some people were too distracted by the co-edness of it all, that nobody really took it seriously. I figured that if that were the case, I'd be throwing away 10k for a few weeks of studying that I could do at home, so I didn't enroll for review classes. Instead, I studied at home and reviewed old notes and reviewers. 

Sophomore Year

I'm at a crossroads
Still trying to keep things intact
Two steps forward
Yet another step back
I was never one to falter
Or to surrender to the rise and fall
But in the end, courage gets the best of us all.

The Wheel of Life is a flat tire
Worn and burnt out
Daunting, without a doubt.

I'm at a crossroads
I'm stuck in the pedestrian lane
Waiting for the signal to change
But it never comes
It never comes.

Cars chase by
Traffic lights
Try to keep up
with the changing times
It's not enough to learn every trick in the book
A brake doesn't keep you from spinning down
A break won't keep me from wanting out

I'm at a crossroads
Do the answers lie at the finish line?
Will the questions cease from time to time?
Standing on the pavement
Waiting, waiting, waiting
... Go.

13

When I say these words I mean them to be biting

Enough of white lies and half-truths that do absolutely nothing

Useless punctuations and periods that never end

Aren't you tired, the battle lost not won

Can't change your mind, when the damage has been done

Last Days On A Cruise Ship

On some days you feel like it'd be alright, but then reality grips in and sets you drifting away, on a boat you never wanted to board in the first place. At first, the cruise is daunting and absolutely not what you had signed up for, but as the days go on, you tell yourself that, hey, it isn't so bad after all. So for months you're on that ship, being tossed about by the waves, in the middle of nowhere, until one day you dock back on land. And you forget what it felt like to actually stand on your two feet, without the swaying, without the waves, without the current. So this is what it's like, you say, and you had forgotten.

Some people end up settling for something because they're used to mediocrity. Some don't feel the need to search for more and dream bigger, because what's the point in wanting something you don't have, when there is already an opportunity waiting for them? I may have my head in the clouds and my eyes set on the sun, but I'd rather be blinded from the brightness than be blind to possibility. 

too little too late

"Being sorry is the highest act of selfishness, seeing value only after discarding it." - Douglas Horton

I don't know who Douglas Horton is, but he makes sense... a lot.

SORRY.

What is sorry, anyway? Does it mean someone's admission of a fault? Is it someone's way of swallowing their pride? Is it an excuse to stop fighting?

Sorry is just a big word carelessly thrown around by people who aren't man enough to own up to their mistakes. Sorry is nothing without a follow up statement. The pathetic (a synonym for another way of using sorry, as well) five letter word means exactly what those who use it so mindlessly intend of doing after they say it: Absolutely nothing.

I'm sorry I broke your heart. I promise to never take you for granted again.

I'm sorry let you down. I'll prove to you that i'm not a dissapointment.

I'm sorry i didn't do what was expected of me. I'll do better next time.

Without the follow up statements, sorry is empty, a word of flattery. Sorry just doesn't cut it, sorry doesn't make everything disappear, and never does it make it all okay. If sorry could move mountains, if it can reconcile even the hardest of hearts, then why are there wars? Divorce? Prison?

Sorry is not enough.

It's never enough.

You're sorry? Well i'm sorry too. Bye.

Definitions of Love (By Age)

I think that sounds just about right, doesn't it?

Animo?

Last Wednesday, i visited DLSU with what could possibly be one of my last visits ever. I usually go for delivering Keiko Collection stuff, (and hanging out with my sorely missed blockmates and friends) but a) a lot of events are coming up and i can always deliver them there, and b) stock is practically gone, anyway, yay! Everytime i visit Taft (ever since i transferred) i always end up feeling nostalgic. I miss La Salle, i really do.

 

I miss the campus. I miss the Grecian inspired buildings, the SJ walk, and the long walk from Andrew to South Gate. I miss seeing more than 10 friends in a span of an hour, i miss Agno fishballs and Lair. I miss Nomimono and the variety of restaurants in EGI. I miss Andrew Building and the looooong line at the elevators. I miss the high tech Andrew classrooms and the oldschool ones at the LS Building. I miss the booths lined up in the Central plaza.

 

  

I miss the spirit. Not the "I Bleed Green" spirit, but the spirit of freedom of speech, freedom of thought, freedom of style and just freedom in general. I miss the energy and the vibe of the place, and i miss the culture. People cared for causes but didn't care for petty high school gossip. (Although some still do) 

                                                     Me with Dan, one of my favorite girls <3

But most of all, i miss my friends. I miss overeating during breaks and during class. I miss plugging the iPod in the classroom sound system and having between-class mini-parties. I miss stressing over grades together. I miss group works and fail volleyball. I miss locker room bonding, making libre, sharing shampoo and life stories, and sharing umbrellas when it'd rain. I miss having acoustic sessions with the block, and singing to cheesy 90s songs with them. I miss first impressions debunked, and hating on inept teachers. I miss, i miss.

I wouldn't have survived first term, first year college without these girls. (Missing Dan, Jus, Nikki, Sara and Laureen in the photo! And the rest of Advertising Block 21 as well.) They say that you'll forever remember your high school friends, but college friends are lifelong friends, too. I guess there's truth to that saying, after all. Walang kalimutan ah?

The Top 10 Romantic Comedies

Okay i admit, i'm a romantic comedy buff. But deep down, who isn't? Everyone loves that feeling in the pit of your stomach when the guy gets the girl, and it ends happily ever after. I mean, everybody loves a happy ending. Even the most cynical of all cynics or the hardest of hearts wants to have their own happily ever after.

I like action movies and suspense thrillers, (i hate horror movies! you can call me chicken... i'll attest to that.) but my most favorite genre of them all is romantic comedies. There's something about them, something so sweep-me-off-my-feet esque that makes me love being a girl. But there's also the aspect of those things not always happening in real life. But that's the allure of romantic comedies: They take us away from the more often than not brutal reality of love, and puts us right in the middle of a story we want to play a role in.

I haven't watched all the newest romantic comedies out there yet. (coughvalentine'sdaycough) But here i'll outline my personal top 10 romantic comedies. I won't put the synopsis anymore :)

10. 27 Dresses

This movie was jampacked with humor and love and irony. Irony because the leading man, James Marsden, is a cynic. He hates marriages and weddings, while his leading lady, Katherine Hiegl, simply adores them.The irony of all ironies, is that he is a very famous writer of a wedding column, and she's his biggest fan... and yet he doesn't believe in what he writes. James Marsden's character is absolutely ADORABLE, and i wish someone like him existed. His character is totally my type, hahaha! Anyway, the movie is hilarious and the script is fantastic.

9. Keeping the Faith

If there was an award for most original storyline, this movie would win the title hands down. The story follows childhood best friends Jacob (Ben Stiller), Brian (Edward Norton), whose long lost childhood buddy Anna (Jenna Elfman) comes back to town. They're both in love with Anna, but the thing is, Jacob is a rabbi, and Brian is a priest. The film is a HILARIOUS and unorthodox story of love, religion, and well, love love love. And the soundtrack is great, too.

 8. Hitch

Hitch was a very educational film, because i learned a lot of the tactics men used to woo women! Anyway, Alex Hitchens (Will Smith) is "a date doctor." He helps guys who are inept at courting to at least get a date with the woman they're attracted to. Make no mistake, he doesn't help them get into their pants. Sara Melas (Eva Mendes) is a gossip columnist who's sworn to track this date doctor down, when her best friend is jerked off by a guy who was Alex's client. Well coincidence of coinceidences, they fall in love. But the film is loads of laughs, very educational, and really sassy to boot.

Five Minutes isn't enough to write a decent poem

If the past has won and the ballots few

When the cards are in and faces are new

On and off the wheel even when skies glow blue

When there's nothing else i can say or do

Between cobblestone streets and people we meet

When i can't keep my head up or keep still in my seat

If the present is determined by what has been

And the down, down, downs keep rolling in

Frustration grows and patience wears thin

Amidst the debate between obligation and sin

Between cobblestone streets and people we meet

When i can't keep my head up or keep still in my seat

When my future is set on crystal sand

And everything else is lifted up to the Creator's hands

When i only feel like i alone understand

And i'm on the precipice, dangling upon a delicate strand-- 

--of Destiny and time, and time and Fate

They say that good things come to those who wait

Book Review: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

"... I'm reaching out and she's right there and right at that moment the amps amplify and the music takes on such a pulse that it becomes my heartbeat and her heartbeat and I know it and she knows it and this is the point where we could break apart and that would be it, totally it. But i look into her eyes and she looks into my eyes and we recognize it - the excitement of being here, the excitement of being now. And maybe i'm realising what a part of it she is and maybe she's realizing what a part of it I am, because suddenly we're not crashing as much as we're combining. The chords swirling around us are becoming a tornado, tightening and tightening and tightening, and we are at the center of each other. My wrist touches hers right at the point of our pulses, and i swear i can feel it. That thrum. We are moving to the music and at the same time we are at a stillness. I am not losing myself in the barrage. I am finding her. And she is- yes, she is finding me."

The best hodgepodge of run-on sentences i've ever read.

I'm not going to talk about how imaginative the storyline was, because it wasn't. I'm not going to talk about how inspirational the book was, because it was a simple story of two very different people finding each other, and connecting through music.What made the book so special, for me, was that it was real. Each line, each

sentence, each paragraph was raw emotion and unadulterated teenage romance. It's so simple, yet so captivating because it draws you in, and makes you fall in love with the characters, then hate them, then root for them... then fall in love with them again.

Professors.

So for my first real blog entry, i'll talk about teachers.

Just as school is our "home away from home," teachers are like our parents in school, and with that, they have a lot of responsibilities. This is very timely for me, because just today, i had just about HAD IT with one of my professors. I'm not going to be naming any names of course, but let's just say that i am not the biggest fan of professors who feel like they know everything.

I've had my fair share of inspiring teachers, especially in high school. A lot have invoked a passion in me for a lot of things, and i owe a good percentage of what i know to them.

Here i'll outline the types of professors i've encountered in my lifetime. (or those with a majority that can be classified into a type, anyway)

Yayyy

Hooray for me! I fixed the layout of the blog! Of course, all credit goes to the girl who made it, i forgot her name. *facepalm* so well yeah, i guess this is my "public" private blog. Public because it's my only blog i won't lock, and private because no one knows about this. Ha! Sooo till the next few posts!